


Softer than Silk; Finer than Jade

by Abyssia



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Anal Fingering, Background Relationships, Crossdressing, Emotional Healing, F/M, Fingering, Polyamory, Soft Femdom, mastubation, soft intimacy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-09-06 14:20:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20292868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abyssia/pseuds/Abyssia
Summary: Dorothea has not been taking well to the stresses of war; it was never something that suited her. But despite that, she presses on, and Ferdinand, while knowing to keep his distance, still cannot help but worry.When Dorothea disappears into the town right after a particularly trying battle, Ferdinand decides to seek her out, and act on his desire to understand her as well as he possibly can.





	1. Chapter 1

The monastery, at times could become quite suffocating. As the war dragged on, it was like the walls were closing in.

And so, when returning from campaigns, Dorothea oftentimes found herself lingering and dragging her feet.

The final stop on the march back to the monastery, was a now, surprisingly well-off village. Even though the area had been ravaged by the war, the protection of the imperial forces for the past 5 years meant that the remaining villagers at least could find a life supporting the military nearby. Accordingly, the little town had become almost a resort of sorts. Much coin could be made in providing respite for the weary soldiers.

Dorothea in particular had become a regular patron of a small lounge. The proprietress had become a very close acquaintance of hers, and Dorothea could swear that she blushed whenever their eyes met over the bar. But usually when Dorothea felt the need to take refuge in the establishment, she was hardly in the mood for any such dalliance.

Dorothea sat alone on a loveseat near a low table at the edge of the main room. The waitress brought Dorothea her drink, and she took a drink, her gaze lingering on the light that swirled around in the glass.

“Dorothea?”

She started slightly, and looked up. She then met eyes with none other than Ferdinand. For once, he was not dressed in his usual military clothes, but instead a more understated ensemble. This way, the one thing about him that stood out the most was his hair. Not only was he now wearing only an embroidered blouse and high-waisted pants, but his hair was partly pulled back with a small violet ribbon.

“May I join you?” Ferdinand asked. Dorothea nodded and gestured politely to the seat next to her.

Dorothea hoped that Ferdinand could read her mood, and so wouldn’t expect much conversation.

“I do hope that my company is not wholly unwanted,” ferdinand said, glancing briefly her way. “I hope you know that you can dismiss me and I will oblige.”

Dorothea cracked a small grin. “Do you really think that I would entertain your company out of politeness?”

“Fair point.”

They remained silent for a while longer, until the waitress returned and brought the drink that he must have ordered earlier. He thanked the waitress and held his drink up for a toast. Dorothea followed suit and took a drink along with him.

Despite her dour mood, Dorothea was quite happy for his company, and even moved herself closer to him on the love seat.

“I am surprised to see you here, Ferdie,” Dorothea said, swirling her drink in her hand. “This isn’t a...popular establishment; did you follow me?”

Ferdinand let out a dry laugh. “I must admit, I had been worried about you earlier. When you did not return to the monastery, I made an effort to ask around for your wear-abouts.”

Dorothea laughed. “Honestly, it would have been easier if you just stalked me here.”

Ferdinand frowned. “No matter my level of concern, your right to independence and privacy outweigh all of that. I simply noticed a while back, your habit of disappearing the night after returning from battle. After noticing the pattern, I began my questions,” he paused, placing his drink down on the table. “I am glad that I found you tonight,” he said. The most recent battle; in truth had also affected him in a dark and deep-rooted way.

“Thank you, Ferdie, for worrying about meet.” And most of all, she was grateful for his cautious and considerate approach to comforting her. “Your company is very welcome tonight,” she said, setting her drink down and leaning closer to him.

Ferdinand blinked and blushed, averting his eyes. “I assure you, it’s no trouble.”

Dorothea gave a relaxed smile. “I only say it’s odd because it’s mostly women like myself that frequent this bar.” she said. “And honestly, when I glimpsed you earlier, ordering your drink, I didn’t recognize you, I thought you were a...very tall and well build women.”

Ferdinand gave her a surprised look. “Is that...is that so?”

Dorothea chuckled. “It’s not just your hair, Ferdie. With your looks, you could pass for a beautiful woman yourself with just a little bit of work.”

Ferdinand let out a sputter. “Perhaps. But I doubt that I have nearly enough of the necessary graceful charms.”

Dorothea raised an eyebrow. “Not all women are like that you know. Some girls are tall, muscular; have not an ounce of “grace” or “charm”,”

Ferdinand lifted a hand and sighed in defeat. “As always, you are correct, Dorothea. Forgive me for speaking so shallowly. I only meant that,” he paused. “Well, the hallmarks of feminine beauty; elegant clothes, mastery of make up and accessories. All of those things are beyond me. Perhaps, as you said, from behind,” he paused again. “In no other way could I even dream of passing as a woman.”

Dorothea looked into Ferdinand’s face, seeing a deep sadness there that she had yet not seen from him. “Your hair is...very beautiful Ferdinand. I can tell that you take good care of it.”

Ferdinand blushed. “Ah! Truly? I thank you. As I said, I do not know much of anything of the finer arts of grooming, so I simply do my best.”

“That’s really all it takes, Ferdie, some proper grooming. That’s most of what makes a ‘woman’ really.”

Ferdinand’s brow furrowed. “What? That cannot possibly be the case. What makes a woman is so much more than that.”

“Is that so? What is it exactly that makes up a ‘woman‘ then?”

“Why, it her soul that matters! Her dreams, desires; her personality and preferences.”

“Isn’t that what makes up a man, too? Isn’t that just what makes up all people?”

Ferdinand nodded rather enthusiastically. “Why yes, precisely, women are equal to men in all regards after all.”

Dorothea pressed her lips together. “Then what distinguishes women is their ‘beauty’, their grooming and their style.”

Ferdinand then paused before replying. “Well, there are certain other...differences, physical ones.”

Dorothea smirked. “Is that so,” Dorothea nodded out to the diner. “That waitress, quite the beauty, wasn’t she?” 

Ferdinand, as eager and honest as he was, answered before even pausing to think. “Yes she was, very charming. She and the owner have been the utmost quality of hostesses whenever I have come here.”

Dorothea was satisfied with that answer and decided not to press him further. On many of her “dates” with men she had brought to this very bar; men who had noticed the waitress’ adams apple; or were put off by her deep voice. Those were the men, that Dorothea considered not even worth a second glance.

Ferdinand however, had surprised her once again, and needless to say, she was thrilled. Perhaps it was a low bar, to be so impressed by a man willing to show basic decency to others; but after her experience with the nobles, this was indeed something significant.

Dorothea then fully processed what Ferdinand had said. “Hold on a moment, you have come here before?”

Ferdinand nodded. “On a few occasions yes. When I was looking for you, after learning that you frequented this place. I always stayed for a drink even though you had already left.”

It was interesting to think that Ferdinand had always been so close at hand even when she hadn’t been aware of it. Even stranger still, was that she was not at all threatened by his behavior. 

“Why did you come here, specifically? Just to check on me?”

“That of course, but also to see if there was anything I could do. I hope that, since you haven’t shooed me away, that means that my company is of some help to you.”

Dorothea nodded. “Yes…actually. I find your presence quite…comforting right now.”

“That is wonderful to hear,” Ferdinand paused. “I want to be able to understand you, Dorothea. In truth, I have been continually thinking about what you said, since our conversation in the cathedral.”

Dorothea averted her eyes, leaving her drink on the table and folding her hands in her lap.

“Thank you…for telling me. I do not resent you for having kept that a secret all this time. I was confused at first, but it has begun to make sense.”

Dorothea gave him a curious look, nodding slightly to urge him to continue.

Ferdinand rested his hands on his lap, collecting himself. “As you said before, I am like a bee who was born into a bounty that I did not earn. I do not know what that makes you. But perhaps that I am a honey bee, and instead, you are like a solitary scavenger bee, who must burrow out their own safe place and protect itself alone without the support of a colony.”

Dorothea gave him a small look of surprise, taking advantage of his distracted state to move herself closer to him on the couch.

Ferdinand scratched his cheek, giving a small sheepish smile. “I must confess, back then, when trying to decipher your riddle; I ended up reading quite a lot about bees and their varieties. I had not even heard of solitary bees until my research.”

“The comparison does seem quite apt,” Dorothea said softly, leaning herself up against Ferdinand’s arm. He was truly focused on his explanation as he had still not noticed her closeness.

“It is clear to me now. I never knew what it was like to not know if I would have a next meal. I never had to worry that I would die suddenly from illness; or from a random act of street crime;” he paused. “And especially, yourself, being a beautiful young woman—” Ferdinand then turned back to face Dorothea, and finally he noticed. He cut himself off and gawked down at Dorothea who was leaning against his shoulder. Despite the shock, he forced himself to continue, placing hand by his mouth to try and hide his blush. “ Uh—as I understand it, your suffering at the hands of nobles did not end after entering the opera.”

Dorothea’s face fell slightly. “Yes, that is true.” Dorothea had not gotten around to confessing the other horrors she had endured in the Opera. She did not expect him to understand or have any sympathy. But the other girls; especially the noble ones; understood what it was like to be treated not as a human woman, but as an object to be possessed and traded.

Ferdinand shifted his position as to be more accommodating to Dorothea. “I have heard from Ingrid, Mercedes, and from Bernadetta. I am beyond grateful and honored that they felt comfortable telling me about their troubles.”

Dorothea nodded.

“They did not share your secrets, but it was clear, especially from Ingrid, that your experiences had propelled you to be...quite protective.”

Dorothea nodded. Especially since, in the case of Ingrid, Dorothea had experience with the man in question. 

“I do truly want to understand you. Your position, being objectified as an object of desire…I must confess, while I have been praised for my looks; I know that my experiences cannot begin to compare to yours.”

Dorothea leaned in further, the alcohol starting to rile up some confidence in her. “Like I said, with your looks, all it would take is some work with a make-up brush and some flattering garments and I could make you an ‘object of desire’ with no issue.”

“I…” Ferdinand stammered, unable to look away from her at that moment. “I am not sure that is…precisely what I meant but; I would be lying if I didn’t find that idea…intriguing.”

“Is that so Ferdie? I do think that I would find some joy in making you look as beautiful as the delicate maidens you profess to admire.”

“Do you mean…truly? As in, tonight?”

Dorothea grinned, winding an arm around his back. “Certainly, if you assent. ”

“I have no reason to refuse. Especially if it might help cheer you up.”

“Wonderful, it is settled. You’re coming home with me tonight and I am going to make you into a beauty that would launch a thousand ships!” Perhaps the alcohol was getting to her, but Ferdinand found that he didn’t mind. Any emotion besides despair was preferable for his dear Dorothea.

Ferdinand blushed, his heart-rate increasing, and a shock of heat suddenly building in his stomach. “Ah, if that is your intention then please allow me to—” He coughed and collected himself. “As you must take me back to your quarters for this; I promise that I will strictly do only, and whatever you ask of me.”

Dorothea found that now she too was blushing heavily, desire flaring up between the thighs at the thought of it. Never had she imagined that a man, let alone a noble, would be so eager to submit to her whims. “Now that, is an enticing proposal,” Dorothea said, leaning in finally far enough that she wrapped an arm around his neck and her lips lingered scarcely an inch from his face.

Ferdinand’s breath caught in his throat, and he froze in place, waiting until Dorothea chose to briefly close the distance between them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added like 2.5k to this section in one sitting it almost got away from me and now I have have inklings for a third chapter that’s just more sweet conversations, not that there is any lack of that in this part...  
Please enjoy! I certainly enjoyed writing it!

Returning to Dorothea’s quarters, Ferdinand stayed behind her by the door. As he promised, he would only heed her commands, and so he waited dutifully. Dorothea had promptly gone to rummage through her wardrobe. She paused, looking over to Ferdinand as he stood stood there, with his gaze politely averted. “Just a moment. I am going to change, after I find something that might suit you.”

Ferdinand blushed and kept looking away. “Ah, yes! Of course!”

“Now be a dear, and wait for me at the vanity.”

Ferdinand nodded, removing his boots and coat before sitting down.

Each of the rooms was equipped with a desk, of course, but Dorothea had indeed converted hers into a vanity. A large decorative mirror, surrounded by tins of make up, containers of brushes and racks of jewelry. Ferdinand found that his eyes lingered on every single item, seeing how lovingly and carefully arranged everything was.

“Now,” Dorothea said, walking up behind him. “I did take the liberty of slipping into something more comfortable after all, I hope you will join me soon,” Dorothea placed a hand on Ferdinand’s cheek, meeting the eyes of his reflection and seeing him blush again. Ferdinand couldn’t quite see what she was wearing as she stood behind him, but it seemed to be some sort of robe.

Dorothea then moved one hand to rest in his hair. “Your hair is lovely, but I will start there if you don’t mind.”

Ferdinand nodded. “Which of these brushes do you need?”

“The mahogany one, with the abalone-inlaid handle.”

Ferdinad took the brush into his hand and gave it to Dorothea. “Quite the ornate trinket,” he commented, turning his eyes back to the mirror.

Dorothea stood behind him, taking a handful of his hair into her fingers and starting to untangle his hair from the bottom up. “You best watch your tongue while i have you in such a, vulnerable position,” Dorothea said with a light tug to his hair.

“I do trust you Dorothea, not to use this power over me to hurt me needlessly. If you choose to punish me, I am sure that I deserve it.”

Dorothea gave a gentle laugh, now having worked out the tangled split ends and was drawing the brush down the full length of his hair.

Ferdinand let out a satisfied hum. “I must say that this is a quite soothing experience.”

Dorothea gave an affirmative sound in reply. It was very soothing for her as well. Ferdinand’s hair was incredibly soft and lovely to run her fingers through. It seemed that dear Ferdie was quite sensitive too, he reacted with a small jolt every time one of her fingers brushed against his ear or the nape of his neck.

Now Ferdie,“ Dorothea began, handing him the brush which he dutifully placed back where he had found it. “Please hand me that rouge tin, and that velvet satchel; thank you.” He did as he was asked. “Now please turn around and face me.”

Ferdinand obliged and looked up at her, rather expectantly. Dorothea then got to work. Ferdinand’s complexion was already quite lovely, but the stress had caused some angery pimples. His cheeks too were covered in patches of rosacea, which gave him almost the issusion of blush. She smoothed out the edges of his face with the powder and then applied soft ovals of blush.

“Close your eyes,” Dorothea requested, her eyes drawn to his long eyelashes that brushed against his cheek, even picking up some of the loose powder. Dorothea then pulled out a small container of eye shadow, a deep cool tone of muted violet that she would use to emphasize the gold tones in his hair and light hazel-brown eyes. She applied some of the cool-brown powder to his cheekbones and blended it in along with the brush, shaping his already rather round face into one even softer.

She softened the angle of his brows and applied dark liner at the base of his eyelashes. Mascara, she thought might be too much for him to deal with at first. As a final touch, Dorothea pulled out a tube of lipstick that was a gentle pink shade, just a little brighter than his already pink lips. Dorothea also applied the same tube to her own lips, effortlessly coloring her lips without even a glance in the mirror. Her eyes lingered on her handiwork for a moment before she placed the make-up down on the vanity.

“Ferdie,” she said gently, you can turn back around.

After he did so, Dorothea leaned forward and rested her hands on his shoulders. “You can open your eyes now.”

Ferdinand opened his eyes and then gasped aloud when he saw his reflection. He wordlessly gawked at his reflection, lifting hands almost to touch his face, but seemed to think better of possibly messing up her hard work.

“Dorothea…I—” He stammered. “this is—this is amazing work. I scarcely even recognize myself!”

Dorothea laughed. “You look even more beautiful than usual, Ferdie.”

“More than usual—” he sputtered, averting his eyes. “You flatter me too much. I am merely…passably handsome at most I am sure.”

Dorothea could not suppress a chortle. Ferdinand clearly did not realize how ridiculous a statement that was. Ferdinand was extremely, upsettingly gorgeous. But his obliviousness and humility were some of his finer traits, and so she moved on. Dorothea ran her hands from his shoulders down to his chest. Ferdinand took in a sharp breath and quivered from her touch. “Now dearie, would I lie to you?”

“No, never.” Ferdinand gasped.

“Now, we are not done,” Dorothea stood back up and pulled some of Ferdinand’s hair back to twist it into a simple braided up-do.

Ferdinand became suddenly a bit nervous. “Dorothea…I am very satisfied with this…beautiful make-up you have done. I am not sure that anything more will be…necessary.”

“Oh? But wearing beautiful clothes is most of the fun!”

“Yes, even I know that joy. I find that the feeling of a well-fitting suit to be without much compare,” he paused. “But a large part of that joy is that it is well fitting, well suited to the wearer. Clothes that are not compatible, often make one simply look…ridiculous.”

Dorothea’s lower lip puckered into a pout. “How can you know if you don’t try? You’d be surprised how versatile some garments can be. After all, clothes did not spring forth from the earth fully formed by the goddess. They are made, and so can be made to fit whomever.”

Ferdinand still had his reservations, but he trusted Dorothea’s judgement above all. “Also I will…need your help if I am going to change into something. Are you alright with me…disrobing in your presence?”

“Oh, is that the issue? Sure, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

That wasn’t exactly the answer that Ferdinand wanted, but he decided to comply anyway. Ferdinand stood up and untucked his shirt, loosening his belt and starting to take off his shirt.

“Shall I help with the pants?” Dorothea asked, walking up behind him.

Ferdinand’s face flushed, and his hands stopped where they were. “Ah— I uh…” Ferdinand did not know if he would be able to hide how his body had reacted to her physical closeness. He was not ashamed by the abstract concept, erections were natural, and common; even when no attractive individuals were anywhere nearby. But, based on Dorothea’s history with men, he was cautious. “Dorothea—”

“Are you really comfortable with this?” She asked, sounding just slightly disappointed.

“No, that’s not it—” Ferdinand turned to face her. Meeting her eyes, Ferdinand was disarmed again by her beauty, but also by the sadness that still hung about her like a heavy fog. “I just…of the things that I heard about your past; some things I heard from Bernadetta in particular,” Ferdinand began. “She mentioned how you had been…targeted.”

Dorothea gave him a look of suprise. “Oh…did she now?”

“I apologise if that was said in confidence. I must admit though, the things that she said…I should have expected them.”

Dorothea didn’t reply.

“Again, I was naive, blind to the troubles of women in your position. How you seemed to attract men who only wanted to use you. From what she repeated to me, I feel like you were trying to hide the true nature of some of the things you experienced, am I correct?”

“Most likely, you are far more perceptive than I ever originally thought.”

Ferdinand glance away briefly. “She was worried, confused, it just came up in conversation one day; you know how the poor girl worries. She mentioned how, what was the phrasing…that you survived attempted murders, kidnappings and ‘all kinds of stuff’ and that you repaid them in kind.” With a sigh, ferdinand met her gaze again. “I admire your strength Dorothea, your ability to move past those things. But…” he paused. “My mind cannot help but wander to the specifics. I have learned much more of the world in these past 5 years. Undoubtedly these men often wanted you for…personal, physical reasons.”

Dorothea let out a long sigh of her own. “You can say it out loud, Ferdie.”

“I greatly prefer not to, but,” he grimaced. Part of understanding her meant facing these cruel realities and not letting them be just swept away or treated as things just meant to be put up with. “There were men, I imagine that subjected you to unwanted…not only advances but also physical contact…”

Dorothea gave a bitter smile. “Not just men, Ferdie. It’s amazing what sorts of things people feel like they can get away with, just because they have an advantage over you.”

Ferdinand was aware that nothing he could say could possible make up for the things she had experienced, but he would try. “And because of that, know that I understand, how great of a privilege it is to be trusted by you, like this. And that if I do anything to violate your trust, I would gladly forfeit my life for that transgression.”

Dorothea stared at him for a moment. She knew that he was completely serious, but she could not suppress the bubble of laugher that burst from her lips. “Oh my! You certainly know how to charm a lady, don’t you?”

“Dorothea please I am quite serious.”

“I know you are, Ferdie.” She stepped closer, placing her hands on his chest and nearing her face to his so that their noses were nearly touching. “I do trust you, as you promised to follow my every order. So trust me now and listen to me—” her voice fell to a low growl. “Strip down to your breeches now, so that I can put this lovely gown on you.”

“U—understood,” Ferdinand stammered.

Dorothea smiled, leaning foreward and placing a gentle kiss on his lips. Ferdinand gasped but suprisingly relaxed into the kiss. The slide of lipstick against lipstick was familiar to Dorothea, as was the dull flavor as it scraped off against her teeth. Ferdinand’s lips were sloppy, but she didn’t mind, he was warm and gentle.

Dorothea then pulled back and retrieved the garment she had picked for him. Ferdinand nodded and pulled his shirt off over his head. Dorothea’s eyes fell slowly over his body. His musculature was very developed; especially in his upper arms and chest. Although it made his shoulders broad; his time riding horses made his hip and thigh muscles just as developed which gave him a very balanced figure. She smirked a little, seeing how his abs, while tone were covered with a generous layer of fat.

After discarding his shirt, Ferdinand met her eyes and saw how intensely she was looking at him. It was a look of desire; lust that longed to consume him. Ferdinand shuddered, grateful that the context meant that he enjoyed that look of hunger in his eyes.

He then averted his eyes and turned around to slide off his pants, leaving him only in his undergarments. Dorothea walked up behind him and spoke directly into his ear. “Arms above your head, Ferdie.”

Ferdinand did as he was told and let Dorothea drop the dress on over his head. He let out a shiver at the sensation of the cool silk against his skin. He kept his arms away from his body as Dorothea got everything in place.

The gown was a very loose-fitting style. It wasn’t cut or fitted for a specific body type, but was designed to drape easily over the curves of the body and be secured in key places. The neckline was two strips of fabric that were attached to the waistband and then pulled up across the chest and secured behind the neck. This style meant that Ferdinand's pecs were covered gracefully instead of failing to fill a more tailored bodice.

Dorothea then placed her hands on his waist and drew her hands around to rest on his stomach. She felt him shiver again before she took the ends of the waist-sash into her hands and tied it in the back.

“How does that feel, Ferdie?”

“Very…nice actually. Far more comfortable than anything I’ve worn before.”

“That’s good to hear.” Ferdinand still seemed quite uncomfortable, doing everything that he could to avoid spotting himself in the mirror. “Turn around for me?” Dorothea asked.

Ferdinand let out a sigh and turned to face her, his eyes squeezed shut, and his hands still clasped over his waist.

“You look lovely, Ferdie. I really mean it.”

Ferdinand’s face flushed deeper and nodded in response.

Dorothea leaned forward and placed her hands over his clenched fists. Ferdinand let out a tense breath and then relaxed his hands into hers.

Dorothea continued. “Would you like to spend the rest of the evening here with me, like this?” She asked, lacing her fingers with his.

“Gladly,” Ferdinand nodded, his eyes fixed on hers.

Dorothea found herself slightly intoxicated. Not only by Ferdinand’s enhanced beauty, but also by the power that she held over him. It was not power through violence, but power through agreement and consent.

“I want you to see my hard work,” Dorothea said, leading him by the hand towards the mirror.

Ferdinand gasped when he saw his reflection. “My goodness. You chose, excellently,” he turned his head and upper body, then rotating and watching the skirt swish around his legs.

Dorothea let go of his hands and walked behind him once again. She placed her hand where the slit of the skirt revealed the breeches he still wore underneath. “I would be glad to help you out of these now as well.”

Ferdinand took in another sharp breath before nodding in agreement. “Alright, I assent,” he said, reaching down under the skirt to undo the buttons for her. Dorothea then slid the undergarments down and he reached out a hand to brace against her shoulder as he stepped out of them.

The fabric of the skirt was not completely opaque, the silhouette of his legs was visible, enhanced by the long slit up to his left hip. Dorothea hooked one arm around his waist, leaned her head on his shoulder and then placed her other hand on his exposed thigh.

“I would hate to mess up such careful work so soon, but I have a mind to,” Dorothea said, digging her fingers into his thigh. “If you would allow me to indulge in you…”

“You are free to do with me as you please,” Ferdinand said, his voice hardly above a whisper.

Ferdinand’s reactions to her every touch were beyond delicious and she could not hold back a grin. Ferdinand was only about half-hard, which could still be seen poking up through the skirt of the dress. Dorothea’s right hand slid up Ferdinand’s side, slipping up under the bodice of the dress to cup his breast, erect nipple pressing against her palm.

Ferdinand at long last let out something close to a breathy moan, his eyes falling shut for a brief moment. Dorothea kept watching his responses through the mirror, drawing circles on his thigh with her fingertips.

Dorothea then removed her hand from his thigh and pushed his hair aside to expose the back of his neck. She kissed him where he was the most sensitive, sucking the flesh between her teeth and dragging a louder moan from his lips. His hips buckled, jerking back and brushing against dorothea’s mound, She let out a sigh, grinding her arousal into his firm buttocks; her clit already so engorged that she could feel the contact even from deep within her folds. She widened her stance and ground against him in earnest, the only things separating them being her robe and his dress.

“Dorothea…” he whined, not sure what to do with his hands while she had her way with him. He wanted to please her in return, but would not dream of touching her without permission.

“Hmm? What is it Ferdie?”

“I—I want to—I want you to—” he swallowed. “I want you to…use me. Please.”

Dorothea felt another flare of heat between her legs and dug both hands into his skin. She let out a pleased hum and pulled away. She walked to his side and grabbed his chin with one hand to stare him down. “Alright then, go and lie down there on the bed for me,” she directed. “Keep your left thigh exposed for me with everything else still covered.”

Ferdinand nodded. His face serious even with his flushed cheeks and his lips hanging open slightly.

Ferdinand began to walk away but Dorothea quickly let out a dissatisfied clicking noise.

Ferdinand then stopped in his tracks. “Yes, Dorothea?”

Dorothea walked behind him and placed her hands on his hips. “When you walk, I need you to swing your hips from side to side; instead of rotating them with her legs.”

Ferdinand gave her a pondering noise in response. Dorothea moved her hands to guide his hips and show him the motion. “Lift your left knee, keeping the ball of your foot on the ground,” Ferdinand did as he was told. “Now straighten your leg but rotate your hip upwards to compensate, your left shoulder goes down as a counter balance.”

Ferdinand’s motions were inexperienced, but he seemed to get the gist of it. It was odd to see something that was completely natural to Dorothea be an area of difficulty for him. Ferdinand’s hips weren’t as wide, but they were wide enough that he could manage.

“Now, shift your weight from you other foot, doing the same.” Ferdinand lowered his left foot and slowly lifted his right foot in a mirror image.

“Perfect, Ferdie. Now walk while moving your hips like that. It will help your feet point straight forward too.”

Ferdinand nodded, letting out a determined huff. He took one cautious step forward, and then another, seeming to get it and falling quickly into a stride, Dorothea was very proud, but was a tad distracted by his ass to compliment him immediately.

“Did I—I did I do it right?”

Dorothea stepped towards him. “You did wonderfully dear. Now lie down as I asked.”

Ferdinand did so, lying back while pulling the dress back to gloriously expose his left thigh, he then looked back at her waiting for further orders.

Dorothea grinned and undid the sash of her robe; deeply relishing in his reaction to seeing her body. She kept the satin robe hanging from her shoulders as she climbed onto the bed with him and pressed her dripping wet vulva against his waiting thigh.

His eyes were locked on her face, as he clearly was trying not to gawk at her breasts. “It’s alright ferdie, I don’t mind if you look,” she said, squishing up her breasts to show off.

Ferdinand’s face was glazing over, his mouth hanging open as he panted. Dorothea let out a long moan, dragging her vulva against his shockingly smooth thigh. She began to rut back and forth, the motions sending pleasure through her clitoris that she could feel to the roots. The soft skin against her vulva; the sensation of her own cum slicking up his thigh; it was enough for Dorothea to lose herself a little bit as well.

Ferdinand however looked a little helpless, and so Dorothea reached out both her hands to interlace her fingers with his. He helped by tending his arms and letting her use him to push herself up and down. He even pushed and pulled along with her, pressing his thigh into her thrusts.

“Ferdie….Ferdinand—You won’t believe how amazing this feels. Your skin is so soft,”

Ferdinand let out a strained sound that was perhaps supposed to express his positive reaction to her being able to pleasure herself so well by using his body. But, as Dorothea straddled his thigh, her left leg regularly brushed up against his erection, still just barely covered by the fabric of his dress.

Dorothea watched him, her eyes heavily lidded, her cheeks flushed. She would be more than happy to ride herself to orgasm just like that. But seeing how desperate and compliant she was; she got a few more ideas.

Dorothea paused her grinding and sat back on his knee, purposely crushing her own knee against his erection. Ferdinand let out a moan but fought to keep meeting her eyes.

“Oh…Ferdinand, sweet Ferdinand,” she muttered. Dorothea then lifted her right knee to her chest, exposing her arousal to Ferdinand. With a sigh she slid her fingers between her legs, circling the tip of her clit and moaning loudly. Her index and middle finger slipped into her already loose and wet entrance, her fingertips curling into her g-spot. Dorothea moaned loudly and thrust her hand into herself slowly at first and then harder and faster.

“Ferdinand…” she gasped. “I am going to give you the privilege of witnessing me as I reach orgasm. Now don’t you dare look away,” her tone hardened but was still full of her own growing desire. Ferdinand nodded, struggling to push himself into a sitting position to watch.

Dorothea gasped and grabbed onto him with her free hand for support, grinding and thrusting into her hand wildly now as she careened towards the edge. “Ferdie— Ferdinand!!” She yelled, not holding back as the orgasm washed over her, fluid gushing out over her hand and onto ferdie’s leg.

Dorothea let herself fall into Ferdinand’s arms, still holding onto one of his hands. He was panting almost as hard as she was, but despite his own arousal he was focused completely on her.

“Thank you…” he gasped. “For allowing me to bear witness,” he gasped into her ear. Dorothea hummed in reply and pressed her fingers, still dripping wet against his chin.

“Do not worry, sweet Ferdie. I still have plans to reward you for being so well behaved.”

Ferdinand met her eyes, his pupils dilating and his lips pursed.

“Just keep your mouth open like that, good Ferdie.”

Dorothea then pressed her cum-drenched fingers into his mouth, sliding the digits back against his tongue. Ferdinand let out a strangled moan, his mouth hanging open even wider.

“Hnnhha—aahhh,” he obviously couldn’t form words while she invaded his mouth but he certainly didn’t mind. The taste of her cum was overwhelming and he was quickly lost to it; addicted to the feeling of her fingers rubbing against his tongue.

While she watched his beautiful face, Dorothea grabbed Ferdinand’s right leg in a mirror of earlier. She propped up his leg with her own, and then lubed up her left hand with her own cum as well. She then pushed aside his skirt to grab him firmly below the taint.

Ferdinand let out a delicious high-pitched squeak, his mouth pulling away from her fingers as he risked choking on them.

“Dorothea! that’s—my—”

“Does that feel good?” She asked, gently circling his entrance with a slick fingertip.

“Ye— mm-hm!” He was completely unable to vocalize, his left hand reaching out to cling against her back.

“Good Ferdie…” she cooed. “You loved having my fingers inside your mouth, didn’t you?”

Ferdinand nodded.

“How would you like to feel my fingers inside…here?” She very gently pressed her fingertip into the center of his tightly closed bud and he moaned again.

“Y-yes…Dorothea…”

Dorothea smirked and then pressed him back into the bed, leaning over him to grab some lube from her nightstand. She let her breasts rest against his face, his open mouth just resting there awkwardly. She didn’t mind, she found it, like everything else he did; extremely cute and endearing.

Ferdinand still being in his dress and make-up made everything more delicious, but above all, he was completely transfixed by her, and completely at her mercy.

Dorothea dabbed extra lube on his entrance just to be safe and placed the jar aside. She hummed to herself, returning to her perch on his leg as she began to slowly work him open for her.

Ferdinand writhed, his moan peaking in volume when he felt her finger go inside. “You don’t have to hold back, Ferdie. Feel free to cum when it becomes too much.”

Ferdinand nodded, gasping harder. He reached again for her hand, and held on tight. “I am…at your mercy—” he gasped, managing a smile that came out almost roguish before his mouth fell open again in a long moan.

He was a complete mess and never looked more beautiful to Dorothea than in that moment. He must be inexperienced with this because it didn’t take long after teasing his prostate for him to completely lose himself. His knuckles went white around her hand and his hips jerked against her hand until he screamed her name and came all over his stomach, his cum soaking into the silk dress.

“Oh no…” he gasped, even while still struggling to come down from his high. “Your dress—”

Dorothea flopped forward onto the bed, curling up to his side and wrapping her arms around his chest. “Do you really think I would have let you wear this dress if I was worried about it getting dirty?”

“Fair point,” he murmured.

Dorothea nudged the side of his head, still engulfed in a high of her own. “You’re so sweet and obedient Ferdie. But it’s okay now, you don’t have to follow my orders anymore for tonight.”

Ferdinand let out a sigh, a lazy smile lingering on his lips. “I appreciate this…” he gasped. “I swear, I was paying attention and I do understand things better now but—” he let his head flop onto the pillows.

“It’s alright, it’s not like I’m in the mood to chat any longer after this either.” That was, actually the last thing she wanted. She appreciated his concern, and his dedication; but she had no desire to keep trying to metabolize her traumas there with him. Maybe someday, maybe even soon, but not now. All she wanted now was to cling to him until their sweat cooled and they both drifted off to sleep. In the morning they could set about to cleaning up whatever mess they made.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pls be patient, they gotta sort out some feelings before we get down and dirty  
Lots of good feelings and Hubert and Petra
> 
> Basically all my fics function on a couple having issues, then one or more of their friends show up and help the issue be resolved. 
> 
> Also since i lost motivation for my hubienand fic, it pops up here and in my hubeFerdiGard fic since they aren’t a couple that works in isolation.
> 
> It’s poly. Unquestioned poly because i’m Tired and it’s a war

When Dorothea woke up the next morning, everything was as it always had been; the cramped old dormitory; the aged bed and the same cursed sunlight filtering through the windows. Everything was unchanged except for the elegant red-headed man sitting at her vanity. Dorothea had hardly drunk anything the night before, but she still felt very heavy as if she were hung over.

Dorothea was dressed in a clean white robe, all evidence of the night before having been taken away. Dorothea then glanced back to the window. Judging by the angle of the sun, it was already far past morning.

“Ah, Dorothea, you are awake!” Ferdinand said suddenly, drawing Dorothea’s attention. Ferdinand was seated back at the vanity, his head and torso now turned to face her.

Dorothea blinked, taking in the surprisingly put-together nature of his appearance. “It seems that I am.”

Ferdinand noticed how she seemed to be puzzled by her change of clothes and so he made sure to answer her. “Very early this morning, we both woke up and managed to change and sort eachother out.”

Dorothea blinked rubbing her eyes as the memories came back. “Ah yes, of course,” along with that, she also remembered what had transpired the night before. Just the memory of Ferdinand’s perfectly submissive face was enough to make her abdomen twinge.

Ferdinand nodded. “And I suppose I should not be suprised, but you fell right back asleep.”

“And have you just been waiting here for me to wake up?”

Ferdinand paused. “I thought it would be quite rude for me to abandon you while you still slept. Additionally, I had no real mind to leave.”

Dorothea let her hands fall from her face and turned to give Ferdinand a proper look. “Oh dear, my goodness Ferdie,” Dorothea said, getting to her feet and staggering towards him.

“Is something the matter?”

Dorothea took his chin into her hand to get a good look at his face. “There’s still more I have to teach you,” she tisked, taking in the smeared and smudged state of his make up. “What an irresponsible teacher I am. You can not sleep with your make up on, it’s terrible for your skin.”

Ferdinand seemed to have trouble settling on what emotion to show on his face. But first, he took issue with Dorothea disparaging herself, and so he started with that. “You are an excellent teacher, Dorothea. But in all honesty, considering the circumstances, there can be no blaming either of us if things fell through the cracks.”

Indeed, especially on Ferdinand’s part, there were things that he had left undone or unsaid. The despair that Ferdinand had hoped to ease seemed to have set back in. Not that Ferdinand was so arrogant to think that one night of carnal bliss would be enough to cure her woes. But seeing her so despairing now hurt just as much as it did every other time he saw it.

Ferdinand sat there patiently while Dorothea wiped his face clean for him. It was an odd experience, seeing his face go back to the one he was used to seeing every day. When she was finished, Dorothea stood behind him like she had the night before, her hands absently cupping and caressing his face. Ferdinand let his eyes fall shut and leaned eagerly into her touch.

“Dorothea,” he began, his tone having that hint of seriousness that she always dreaded. “If you would rather I not discuss the details of last night, I will gladly oblige.”

Dorothea smirked. “I know you will Ferdie, you will oblige, and you will indulge me;” for some reason a bit of annoyance cropped up in her voice. Ferdinand’s face reacted in dismay to her shift in tone. “But what is it that you really want from me anyway?” She said, surprisingly harshly. Dorothea’s hands fell from his face and Ferdinand turned around to face her. Looking up, he saw that her face had fallen once again, perhaps regretting the rebuke. Even if it was cliche, it seemed appropriate to compare Dorothea to a thorny rose. Scared of whatever might come too close.

Ferdinand looked upon her gravely, carefully pondering his words. “I want what I wanted from the beginning; to understand you.” He stood up and took a step closer to her. Dorothea recoiled slightly and so he stopped where he stood. “I wanted to know why you hated me, and that answer ended up leading me all the way through your past; to why you hate nobles and the like.”

“But…why do you want to understand me?” She asked, looking up at him, her lips pulled into a snarl.

Despite everything; despite how warm, sweet, kind and compliant Ferdinand had been; Dorothea was still traumatized. One night could not change that; she knew that, and he knew that. But what remained to be seen was how Ferdinand would react.

Ferdinand gave her a slightly sad smile. “I am sure if you asked me that 5 years ago, I probably would have said something about it being a noble’s duty to relate to commoners or some such nonsense;”

Dorothea let out a very breathy laugh.

Ferdinand continued. “I honestly did not recognize you from all those years ago, I swear that on everything I have. When I met you again, you were my classmate, my fellow citizen, and you were someone who clearly had suffered greatly.” His hands twitched at his sides as he paused to think more.”I was so…happy when you first started to open up to me back then,” he said with a chuckle. “But alas, then, five whole years passed didn’t it.”

Those years honestly had felt like a blur; for Ferdinand especially as Edelgard’s new right hand. It had taken him far too long to notice how Dorothea had started to wilt slowly over the years; and he only hoped that it wasn’t too late for him to be of any help.

“Ferdie,” she began, stepping towards him cautiously. “You don’t have to feel bad for basically ignoring me for the past 5 years. I don’t…I don’t think you could have helped much,” she paused. “But now, even though we keep fighting. At least it’s starting to feel like the light is at the end of the tunnel,” she let out a sigh. “Maybe that’s what changed. And talking to you that day in the cathedral really helped.”

Ferdinand nodded. “I am glad, no; overjoyed to hear that, Dorothea”

“Thank you for staying here Ferdie, I do appreciate it.” She let out a sigh. “But I have to ask you to give me a little bit of space for the rest of the day.”

Ferdinand was quite disappointed, but he nodded compliantly as he always did. “Of course. I apologize if I overstayed my welcome.” Ferdinand then gave her a short bow before turning to leave.

* * *

Given the close proximity of everyone’s living quarters, it was nigh impossible to keep any sort of relationship secret for very long. There was doubtless a fair amount of rumors around Dorothea and Ferdinand’s level of closeness, as there was when any of Edelgard’s prominent officers seemed to become particularly close. And so, Ferdinand was more than prepared for those rumors to increase in volume. He was, however, not quite prepared for what was waiting for him just outside Dorothea’s door.

Hubert was standing there, the back wall of the officers’ classrooms at his back; his arms crossed. Petra stood opposite him, her voice echoing along the path in front of the dormitories as they talked. Ferdinand made a move to try and slip up towards the staircase that ultimately proved futile; Hubert’s eyes found him like that of a keen bird of prey.

“Ah, Ferdinand,” Hubert said, his grin already devilish. “If I am not mistaken, that dorm room does not belong to you, correct?.”

Ferdinand stopped in his tracks, replying through tight lips. “You are correct, it is not.”

Petra took that opportunity to speak up rather enthusiastically. “That room is belonging to Dorothea!”

Hubert turned towards Petra, giving her a somewhat softer smirk of gratitude. “Is it now? Thank you Petra for informing me.” Hubert then rounded back on Ferdinand. “Quite unbecoming of a noble is it not? To wander out a of a paramour’s room well into the afternoon.”

Ferdinand grimaced, not meeting Hubert’s eyes. “If you will excuse me, it is time that I return to my own quarters.”

Hubert gave him a pondering look. “Why the rush? You are not…ashamed are you? To be seen after bedding a woman of common birth?” Hubert was clearly baiting Ferdinand on purpose but, it still was enough to spur Ferdinand to a retort.

But at that moment, before Ferdinand could embarrass himself with a reply, Dorothea then also emerged from her room.

“Dorothea!” Petra exclaimed, striding forward to greet her friend. Petra grabbed both of Dorothea’s hands and seemed to then be examining her face closely. “Dorothea! Your face is full of happiness!”

“Oh?” Dorothea blushed and turned her face away. “Is that so?”

Petra nodded. “You can not be hiding from me. We are close friends too—what is that word Hubert was using…Paramoor! I am also your Paramour!”

Hubert let out a low chuckle. “Excellent usage of fresh vocabulary,”

Ferdinand, while still blushing madly had not yet fled the scene.

Petra continued. “But I am being very surprising—you are surprising me! I am very surprised Dorothea.”

Dorothea gave her a furtive glance, her body language screaming that she wanted nothing more than to leave this situation immediately. “We can talk about this later, Petra. Somewhere else.” Dorothea said, her cheeks too starting to flush. It was not like Dorothea to be modest and secretive; but this little encounter with Ferdinand was not exactly like any of her usual trysts.

Petra nodded in reply. “Ah forgive me, I am being forgetting Fodlan’s customs.”

Hubert took that opportunity to then speak up. “Ferdinand, I do say that you seem quite unwell. Allow me to escort you back to your quarters.”

Ferdinand’s face was continually filled with a blush but he had no intention of rejecting Hubert’s offer. Despite their tendency to still act antagonistic in front of others, Ferdinand was actually quite eager to have a chance to speak with his close friend.

Petra waved after them as the two men made their way to the second floor where both of their rooms were.

Dorothea still held one of Petra’s hands, and remained silent. Petra looked back at Dorothea, her lips turning down into a frown.“You are looking as if you are a cloudy day about to rain. Come with me, and be enjoying the sunlight with me.”

Dorothea looked up and blinked. “Oh? Yes, a walk sounds lovely, actually. ”

Petra nodded and then lead Dorothea by the hand towards the outer walls of the monastery.

The two of them walked in silence for a long while at first. Despite Petra’s eagerness to help, she too was able to read when Dorothea was not very up to chatting. Dorothea was extremely lucky to not only have Petra as such an understanding partner, but now potentially a second one.

“I do have much suprise, Dorothea,” Petra said after a long while. She looked to Dorothea and then continued only when she got an approving nod. “Although five years have passed by us, I remember you were hating Ferdinand very much.”

Dorothea let out a low chuckle. “I did hate Ferdinand, but I began to like him more and more as time went on. Which honestly became unbearable.”

“What was changing?”

Dorothea paused. “That’s right, I didn’t tell you, did I?” The last few weeks since her talk with Ferdinand had been a blur. Most of the time since the far began was a hazy mess, to be honest. “I spoke to Ferdie a little while back. He was confused just as you are, about why I hated him.” Dorothea let out a heavy sigh. “It turns out that I was mistaken. I met Ferdinand a long time ago at the capital, and there was a misunderstanding. I thought badly of Ferdinand that whole time because of it.”

“You were hating him for a reason, not just because he was a noble male?”

“Yes. But that was a part of it. Every other nobleman I met while in the opera was…”

“There is no need for repeating, I am remembering.” Petra replied.

“Thank you, Petra.” The things that Dorothea has so readily been able to speak of back in her academy days; now caused her tremendous pain just to think about in passing.

“But you are understanding now, that Ferdinand is truly kind.”

Dorothea gave a small bittersweet smile. “You’ve trusted Ferdinand for a while now too, havn’t you?”

Petra smiled. “Yes, he has brought me much happiness. I can see now that he can bring you happiness too.”

Dorothea sighed again and looked down. “Then why….why am I still so scared?” Dorothea breathed, feeling rather foolish.

Petra blinked and took her time to reply. “You are fearing because you were hurt by noblemen in the past. But you are not choosing to hate Ferdie, but it is something you are fearing.”

Dorothea nodded.

Petra pressed her lips together in concentration. “I have understanding!” She then nodded vigorously. “It is like my cousin, my cousin bit by a viper. They then had a hatred of vipers.”

Dorothea blinked. “I suppose it is somewhat like that.”

“But not only that. This cousin, they now love other snakes. Corn snakes and others. They now know how to tell the differing between snakes with poison and snakes without poison!”

Dorothea blinked and stared back at petra for a moment. While it was a rather literal comparison, Dorothea still somehow felt touched. A warm bubble of laughter burst forth and Dorothea found herself almost doubling over.

“Dorothea?” Petra asked.

“Ah— forgive me— I know it wasn’t a joke I just—” she sniffed and wiped her eyes, a smile lingering on her lips. “I appreciate it, how hard you try to understand me. Even when the language makes things difficult.”

Petra nodded. “Of course. You are very precious to me, Dorothea.”

Dorothea reached out an took Petra’s hand again, squeezing it gently. “And so are you to me,” she trailed off.

They held eachothers’ hands in silence for a few moments. 

“To have honesty, Dorothea.” Petra continued, looking away herself. “You have been greatly worrying me, lately,” Petra said, her face rather firm. “Ever since we became lovers, I had grown used to our frequent meetings. But when you suddenly stopped coming to me, I had much worries. Worries that I was offending.”

Dorothea grimaced. “Petra…believe me. You did nothing wrong.” Dorothea had been so lost that she didn’t want to risk bringing Petra down with her. “It is I who should apologise...”

“Have no worries,” Petra smiled. “I am not feeling betrayal, only happiness!”

Dorothea nodded. Even with the nature of the war making relationships more flexible; Dorothea also had to remember that Petra’s own culture even embraced polyamory. Something that Dorothea was endlessly grateful for, given that she was sure her own polyamory would never be accepted among her peers.

Petra had always been a good friend and lover. In truth, Dorothea had begun to hope that Petra would simply take Dorothea herself back to Brigid with her at the end of the war. But as of now, Dorothea could not run from her problems. She could not run from Ferdinand, from Edelgard, from those who caught her affections and who had taken up residence in her heart.


	4. Chapter 4

After they returned to the second floor, Ferdinand finally let out a frustrated sigh. “Hubert, I ask you to refrain from your teasing now.”

“If you wish, I apologise if I was out of line.”

Ferdinand grimaced, not meeting his eyes. “I realise that you were simply trying to goad me, but I did not appreaciate your insinuation that I would even be ashamed of being with Dorothea.”

5 years ago, Ferdinand would have never dreamt of being so honest with his sensitivities to Hubert, but here he was now, about to spill his most private emotions.

Hubert paused, examining Ferdinand’s face carefully. “As Petra said, Dorothea looked quite pleased. But even so some of her darkness lingered.” Hubert took a step forward and delicately took Ferdinad’s chin into his hand. Ferdinand let his face be pulled and looked up to me Hubert’s gaze. “I dare say that it almost appears as if some of Dorothea’s dark clouds have been instead transferred to you.”

Ferdinand let out a chuckle. “If that were actually the case; if I could truly relieve her of some of her troubles—I would be quite happy.”

Hubert let out a low sigh. Hubert was, decidedly not at all adept in deal with matters of emotion and sentiment. But over the years of close work with Ferdinand, he had made himself improve just enough to be helpful; even if only to Ferdinand and Edelgard specifically.

“Seeing as you are troubled, you may confide those troubles in me; if you so wish.”

Ferdinand glanced back to hubert, and saw under his usual sinister mask; a flash of earnest concert.

“I would greatly appreciate that, my friend.”

Ferdinand pressed on the door to his own quarters and Hubert then followed him inside.

For some reason beyond his understanding, Ferdinand found himself exhausted. He all but collapsed onto his bed whilst Hubert sat down at the desk chair. Hubert’s arms were still crossed, his lips turned into a frown that Ferdinand had no hope of trying to decipher at that moment.

“You need not humor me, Hubert; if you yourself are also troubled.”

“I am not troubled, not by your actions. I am simply…pondering.”

“Pondering what, may I ask.”

“I am, simply trying to guess, what possible circumstances could have arisen for you to end up wearing make-up as you still very clearly are.”

“What?!” Ferdinand’s hands then went to his face. “I thought it was all wiped off—”

Hubert gave him a small smile; somehow absent of derision. “Very nearly, but there is still some eyeliner lingering around your eyes. It contrasts quite starkly with your eyelashes; it is quite flattering.”

Ferdinand’s cheeks flushed and he glanced down in embarrassment. “Well, to ease your confusion, I—asked Dorothea to do it for me.”

“Fascinating.” Hubert was not someone who liked to put any stock in societal preconceptions. Matters of public opinion only mattered when it was necessitated for the purpose of political manipulation; exclusively for the benefit of lady Edelgard. Hubert himself was not opposed to grooming his own appearance in such ways.

Ferdinand, while he was a lover of fashion and elegance; he had always been surprisingly resistant to the finer details of personal grooming; that from hubert’s knowledge of him; he would expect Ferdinand to embrace whole-heartedly.

“As I can see that most of it was wiped off; I must confess that I would enjoy seeing the product of Dorothea’s efforts. She is particularly skilled with a make-up brush.”

“Why, are you that eager for more reasons to ridicule me?”

Hubert frowned. “Actually, no. Beauty, grooming, glamour; they are things that suit you, Ferdinand. They are areas in which you have always excelled and prided yourself. If you were to find ways that you were even more comfortable in expressing yourself; I dare say that I would like to see that.” Hubert had become more and more able to be honest with his emotions in recent months, but it was still no-less jarring.

Ferdinand’s cheeks were burning red, his hands clenching in his lap. “Forgive me, I—I am not quite sure what to say to that.”

Hubert also grunted and looked down, a bit embarassed by his expression of sentiment. “I do mean to say that…I find it—” he pressed his lips together again. “You may deny that you grew your hair out intentionally, but I feel that—” he paused agian. “I do hope that you do not feel pressured to change your looks. You are at your best when your expression is unfettered.” Hubert glanced up, his expression positively docile. Ferdinand was a bit taken off guard by Hubert’s sincerity and had to take a few moments to collect himself.

“Then…perhaps I can confess to you, some of what happened last night. Not—all of it, obviously.”

“I have no compunction with hearing about the dirty details of your exploits with your other lovers. So do not hold back on my account.”

Ferdinand frowned. Surely Hubert would know that was not what was stopping him. Perhaps it was Hubert’s way of encouraging Ferdinand to speak freely.

“I will tell you. I even have a bit of a problem that I have yet to decide how to solve,”

“Then by all means—” Hubert gave him an encouraging nod.

Ferdinand took in a deep breath and then released it. He went over how he had found Dorothea the night before. Ferdinand kept glancing to HUbert for a reaction the whole time; waiting to see if anything that Ferdinand said would make him scoff or sneer. But HUbert only sat there and listened.

After a while Ferdinand started to get nervous, and decidedly cut off his story once things started to get sexual between him and Dorothea.

Seeing that Ferdinand was done for the moment, Hubert placed a pondering hand to his chin. “So, nominally, you agreed to cross-dressing as a way to understand Dorothea’s perspective. Fascinating.” Hubert paused. “But in truth, you had a desire to feel beautiful on your own; and so you also benefited personally from this arrangement.”

“I really did want to understand her but—” Ferdinand paused. “I understand why she wouldn’t want to talk much more about it; because the memories are so painful for her.”

“Well, was it successful? Do you feel like you understand her better?”

Ferdinand placed a pondering hand to his face. “When I saw my made-up face in the mirror it was…the most peculiar experience. It almost looked like an entirely different person,” he pressed his lips together. Ferdinand, having fought side-by-side with all the women in their army had seen them all in various states of make-up application. By now he felt like he knew all their faces well. But that in and of it self was a slightly odd idea to him.

Hubert replied. “Dorothea, as I understand it, grew to hate an distrust nobles because of how their opinion changed of her based on her looks.”

Ferdinand nodded. “Perhaps I can never understand that. And maybe that was never really my goal in the first place.”

“If not that, then what was your goal?”

Ferdinand blushed. “To just…make her happy if I could, I suppose.”

Hubert pressed his lips together. “Typical. You are utterly infatuated with her, that is plain to see.”

“I wouldn’t call it, mere infatuation—” Ferdinand said, twirling a lock of his hair between his fingers.

Hubert let out a sigh. “Regardless. You are appearing very lovesick at this exact moment.” He paused. “Anyway, what is the problem that you had yet to solve?”

“Ah yes,” Ferdinand straightened a bit. “I just…I do not know where to go from here. How best to thread the needle of this relationship. She asked me for space today, that I will oblige. But she also may avoid me out of fear even when she wants to see me…” Ferdinand rested a hand against his head.

“You must know that I am not an expert in…social nuances, and so you must be asking me because you trust me personally.”

Ferdinand nodded.

Hubert furrowed his brow in concentration. “This is indeed a very perplexing predicament. You are someone who can both bring her happiness but also bring up the wounds of her past. Actually when I put it that way, I feel like I may have some experience in the matter.” Hubert let his hand fall from his face and met Ferdinand’s gaze again. “If her experiences with the nobility are too painful, then perhaps you should assure her of where this relationship might end up.”

“End up? Do you mean about…marriage?”

“Yes, in essence. Dorothea has not made it a secret that her goal was…originally to find a well-off noble to settle down with. While those pursuits have ceased as of late, based on my interactions with her…I think that it is not merely the stresses of war that have caused this.”

“That what do you think it might be?”

“Well, perhaps it is the stress that has done it. One thing that is clear to me is that a stressful environment makes one more susceptible to the pain of the past. Things that once merely glanced off your defenses now suddenly strike as deep as the bone.” Hubert’s face clouded over as he spoke. “You might be able to guess of whom I speak when I reference this.” Hubert’s words were cold, hopeless.

Ferdinand’s eyes flicked away, his hands drawing up into his lap. “Yes, I do believe I know of whom you speak.”

“But to circle back on my earlier point, I think that you must assure Dorothea what you do or do not intend. Would this dalliance lead to merely continued companionship? Or would you intend to make her your high-society bride, assuming the two of you survive this war of course.”

“It is the former. I only wish to stay by her side if I can.”

Hubert pressed his lips together again, his eyes staring straight through Ferdinand. “You have seen deep into Dorothea’s heart now, have you not? You understand her, perhaps more than anyone else.”

Ferdinand blushed. “I am honored that she has felt comfortable enough to share as much as she has.”

“And yet, she refused to continue discussions with you after your…rendezvous.”

Ferdinand nodded.

Hubert let his hands fall to his sides and gave Ferdinand a grin that was halfway between warm and sinister. “Tell me then, how much have you reciprocated in that regard? How much have you shared with her of your own struggles and hardships?”

Ferdinand’s eyes widened.

Hubert knew Ferdinand very well by this point. Ferdinand had his own share of insecurities, fears and troubles. But he was never one to share them openly, not if it would risk inconveniencing anyone else, of course.

Ferdinand was the type to prioritize the needs of others to the point of neglecting himself. Something about Ferdinand that Hubert found entirely too relatable.

Hubert let out a long sigh. “I understand that your focus is on helping her. But, if you wish to truly maintain a bond with her, you must prove to her that you trust her as well. Sharing such secrets with her will help ease her anxieties about being so vulnerable.”

Ferdinand smiled. “Since you sound so certain about this, I have no choice but to follow your advice to the best of my ability,” he said, a bit of his old grandeur sneaking into his voice.

Hubert’s sigh was now one of teasing exasperation.

Ferdinand, while holding very specific similarities to Hubert, was in essence a very different person, at least in Hubert’s view. To Hubert, Ferdinand was someone who could actually achieve so many of the things that Hubert himself could never dream of. Being honest and open with the woman that he loved being one of them.

“You say that but…what of my life could stand to compare to what she has suffered?”

Hubert shook his head. “You must not attempt to quantify such things. This is not about matching her pain, but it is about revealing the same amount of yourself. This is about making your relationship with her equal.”

Ferdinand nodded. “I think I am starting to understand.”

“I would hope so,” Hubert said with a sigh.


	5. Chapter 5

It was already late afternoon, on it’s way towards the evening. Dorothea found it within her to return to the monastery. After parting ways with Petra, Dorothea made her way to the gazebo. There was scarcely anyone around as the day neared its end, and Dorothea was thankful for it. In moments like these, she could almost go back to the peaceful school days once spent here.

“Dorothea?” Once again, hearing Ferdinand’s voice filled her with the most peculiar feeling. Not fully pleasant but not fully negative either. She forced her shoulders to relax and turned back to face him with a smile.

“Ferdie,” she began. “I was actually hoping to run into you,” she said, gesturing to the open seat next to her. “Sorry that I do not have any tea prepared.”

“Being permitted to spend time with you is joy enough,” he replied, setting himself down with a sigh. “Did you enjoy your walk with Petra?”

Dorothea nodded. “Yes, quite a bit,” she paused. “You must know that Petra and I have been seeing each other for a while but—” Dorothea paused, her thoughts were still fragmented. “Forgive me, it’s been obvious to everyone that I havn’t been doing well, huh?”

Ferdinand gave her a look of deep concern. “That does not mean that you can not still speak your feelings aloud. I am your friend first and foremost, Dorothea. Allow me to help how I can.”

“You already know so much—you’ve already helped me more than you even should—” she paused, not meeting his eyes. “I think that I really owe you an apology.”

Ferdinand sputtered, gaping at her. “Pardon—whatever for?”

She gave him a bitter smile. “Perhaps you do not mind that I so obviously took advantage of you,” she paused. “You genuinely wanted to understand me, as well as yourself; but I took that as an opportunity to drown my sorrows.”

Ferdinand paused. “That may be the case but, I agreed to it. You did not coerce me.”

“I treated you like some common fling when you were just trying to be a good freind,”

For Ferdinand, it was so completely baffling for him to see this; how Dorothea truly seemed to think about herself. Ferdinand, perhaps put her on a bit of a pedestal, but even being aware of one’s flaws had it’s limit. Ferdinand could start to see that Dorothea viewed her own actions only in the most negative light. Ferdinand paused before replying. “Dorothea, you truly think that you are just taking advantage of me, do you not?”

She gave a small sort of shrug. “Come on, dear Ferdie. You can’t be this hopelessly naive can you?”

Ferdinand thought carefully, about how best to act on Hubert’s suggestion. The idea of lamenting to dorothea in particular felt completely out of the question. Perhaps if he could find a way for Dorothea to seek his heart in return.

“Dorothea, I want to tell you that I am truly thankful for what you shared with me,” he said his expression warm. “For once, I felt like I was finally…sufficient in some way. Even if I was still lacking in skills, experience and charms; my effort was enough. And that meant a great deal to me.”

It was Dorothea’s turn to be perplexed. It was clear to her how much weight hid behind those words. As much as Ferdinand intrigued her, Dorothea had never much given too much thought to the reason behind his eccentricities. Why a noble boy born into such bounty would still strive so incessantly. It was beyond obvious that something changed within him during the war. Perhaps it was his decisive defeat by Edelgard that caused him to finally give up on their supposed rivalry, but Dorothea knew him well enough to sense that there was something else.

Dorothea gave a small giggle. “Is that what it was? You were afraid of disappointing me?”

Ferdinand nodded sheepishly.

Dorothea leaned forward and gently took his hand. “Ferdinand you are absolutely lovely.”

“As are you, Dorothea.”

Dorothea’s breath caught in her throat. Along with their physical closeness, they were teetering on the edge of something far more dangerous. Dorothea was scared of being hurt again, wounded by past abusers. But what was Ferdinand being held back by?

Dorothea felt herself pulled in. The same things that Ferdinand said, “I want to understand you,” “I want to support you”, those feelings started to pile up and push away the thick fog in her mind.

It was thrilling, and it was terrifying.

“Ferdie,” she said, squeezing his hand. “Talk to me.”

Ferdinand looked back at her, his eyes wide almost about to fill with tears.

Dorothea was not in a position to fully support Ferdinand, and she knew that, but they could not even move forward as friends with this unequal footing.

“Well, let me tell you what I think,” Dorothea began. “I really never got you for the longest time. Why you always competed with Edie, why you kept butting heads with Hubert. I of course thought you were pompous but, you always genuinely wanted to help everyone that you could.”

“I’ve heard about you too, from our other friends,” Dorothea said, summoning up the memories as best she could. “Edie told me in disbelief something you said to her. That you had ‘finally proven’ that you were worthwhile to Edie’s cause,” Dorothea kept looking down, her eyes fixed on her fingers that played with Ferdinand’s hair. “It’s obvious isn’t it? How important you are to Edie, to everyone here.”

Ferdinand wanted to retort, but found himself unable to. He wanted to insist that it was an exaggeration, but the contradictions would be too great.

“It honestly never occurred to me, or to Edie that you didn’t think the same of yourself.”

Ferdinand shifted nervously. Dorothea moved a hand to rest soothingly on his shoulder.

Dorothea placed a hand on his cheek. “Look, Ferdie. Look at me.”

Ferdinand turned to look at her finally, a small tear finally sliding down his cheek.

“You made a difference to me,” she said.

Ferdinand’s eyes squeezed shut and more tears fell down his face. The shame was overwhelming. It clamped down on his words and he could not push away how horrible he felt, wailing about his privileged life to Dorothea.

Dorothea wiped his tears away with her thumbs, humming softly as she did so. It didn’t matter that Ferdinand “wasn’t like other nobles.” What they both now knew was that the nobility system was wrong; a world that put Dorothea and Ferdinand in such disperate but equally painful positions could not continue. In another world, without these class divides; without the guilt that kept Ferdinand captive; without the trauma that filled Dorothea with hesitation; maybe then they would have already found a happy relationship together. Lovers, friends, or perhaps only partners.

But even with their love and appreciation for one another; moving past these divides didn’t seem very possible. But they could still try in what little ways they could. They could try and they could pray that the joy kindled between them could outweigh the crushing pain.

Ferdinand smiled even as a few stray tears slid down his face. “Ah, look at me, I am a mess.”

Dorothea cupped the sides of his face, wiping away the rest of his tears. “You are adorable Ferdie. I used to find how intense your emotions always were a little annoying but…now I see it is a part of who you are. And it is rather endearing.”

“Pardon? I am afraid I do not understand.”

“You just…feel so much. Everything you feel is out in the open. I don’t think you are capable of concealing your emotions in the slightest. It’s…comforting. I always know that what you are expressing is what you really feel.”

“Ah, I see. putting it that way makes sense why it would be significant.”

“Oh?”

“I mean, otherwise, it almost seemed like you found my dramatic displays of emotion simply entertaining. While I would not fault you for that, it did not seem particularly in-character for you.”

Dorothea let out a gentle laugh, drawing her hand down to pull a few locks of his hair to her lips. “Pray tell, Ferdie. What exactly to you consider to be in-character for me, then?” Dorothea whispered.

Ferdinand blushed and leaned closer to her, turning his face away in embarrassment. “So very many things, Dorothea. You like to have your fun, but you are not cruel, and you never do anything without reason.”

“Mmm,” Dorothea hummed in reply, letting herself bask in Ferdinand’s adoration. As much as Dorothea wanted to continue to indulge in his warmth, she did not want to risk taking advantage of him again. With how willing he was to overextend himself for the sake of others, it was far too likely that she could unintentionally overstep. And the worst part being that he would never resist or try to stop her.

Despite the secluded intimacy of the current situation, they were still indeed out in the open. “Ferdinand,” she began. “To allay your fears, I will say that I want to see you gain.” She played with his hair again, looking up at him with a very heavily-lidded gaze.

Ferdinand’s lips parted with a small gasp before he nodded in agreement. “Do not feel obligated to continue the…physical aspect of our relationship if you do not wish to.”

“Oh but I do wish to, Ferdie,” Dorothea said, her voice entering a rather teasing tone. “And I am sure that you want me to help make you beautiful again. We can make a plan for our next day off.”

Ferdinand nodded, a small embarrassed smile curling his lips. “Actually…I would deeply appreciate it if next time, you took the time to show me a bit how it’s done.”

“Oh? Of course Ferdie. That sounds quite fun actually.”

Ferdinand nodded. “As much as I enjoyed it, I would not like to have to remain dependent on you for this if I can help it.”

“As long as you still let me spoil you in other ways, then I don’t see any problem,” she said walking her fingers up his chest.

Ferdinand flushed. Their bodies were as close as they could manage, still sitting in separate chairs. “Of course. I did…quite enjoy—”

“Yes?” Dorothea asked with a smirk, dying to hear him sputter through talking of such indecent things with her while still in the open.

“You were in fact my first…to that extent Dorothea.”

“Oh? Not to say that I’m surprised,” she said. Not as an insult. But more that Ferdie was never one who seemed very driven by romantic or sexual pursuits.

“To be honest, the whole…ordeal of sexual intercourse between a man and a woman—it did not appeal to me; as I then understood it. I thought that using a woman’s body as a means to achieve my own gratification—on top of that; she might end up with child—” he cut himself off. “I found it…nearly repulsive. As it happens I was rather naive. But my noble breeding of course only afforded me the understanding of sexual relations as a pragmatic pursuit.”

Dorothea was fascinated to hear this perspective, having never heard a man, noble or not be anything but exhaustingly enthusiastic about sex. But given their specific experiences together, Dorothea had a feeling that there was a little more to Ferdinand’s particular feelings.

Despite his persistent embarrassment, Ferdinand found the courage to continue. He met Dorothea’s eyes and saw no derision or judgement in his eyes, only genuine interest. “And so…to say the very least. Our encounter was…enlightening in many ways.”

“It was my pleasure. It helped that you were so obedient,” she said, lifting a hand to brush her fingertips over his jawline.

Ferdinand let out a soft nervous chuckle, his shoulders relaxing as he leaned into her touch. It would still be difficult from there on out, but it felt a little easier than before. Dorothea, with a little more understanding of Ferdinand in return, now had more ideas of how to proceed.

“To be more direct, I would like to spend the evening with you on our next day off. As it happens there is a special event back at the bar.

Ferdinand’s eyebrows lifted in suprise, his posture straightening a little. “Of course, that sounds intriguing. I would love to join you.”

Dorothea smiled back at him, cupping the side of his face. “We can work out the details later, I think. Right now,” she trailed off. “I think I would rather spend our time together like this just a little longer.

Ferdinand smiled in return, lifting a hand to cover hers. “I could not agree more, Dorothea.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments? Fanart? Please show me @ my  
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